Complementary Counterparts
by Jaywings
Summary: The fairies have won against and oppressed the Anti-Fairies for centuries; far too long, in Anti-Cosmo's opinion. Fed up, he turns to magic from the older times in an attempt to overthrow them. But what should have been a simple spell ends up having more drastic effects than he realized...
1. Like Father, Like Son

A/N: Um yes... I've started a Fairly OddParents fic. If any of the folks from Tumblr are here, I'm sorry...

* * *

The thick layer of dust coating everything in the library, gathered up due to centuries of disuse, glimmered with a spectral glow in the dim light that leaked in through the tightly-drawn curtains.

At one end of the cavernous room an enormous oak door opened with a creak and a small figure drifted in, thumbing through a leather-bound book clutched in his blue-skinned hands. Upon entering the library he paused and looked up, taking in the room with a slow swivel of his head. His bright green eyes, standing out in sharp contrast to the dark blue of the rest of his body and one of which sported a monocle, narrowed.

"Oh, what a mess this place has become," he said irritably to himself, snapping his book closed. His voice had something similar to a British accent. Only it was slightly high-pitched.

With a pair of black bat-like wings beating furiously on his back he flew over to a crammed bookcase and pushed the book he was carrying into the one empty spot on the bottom shelf. A cloud of dust billowed out and he ducked his head to the side, coughing into his fist. He waved his wand and vanished the dust, then flew up to the top of the bookcase. He ran his fingers across the spines of the books and selected one, taking hold of it by his fingertips and gingerly pulling it out. More dust erupted in his face and he waved it away. He flew up even higher to escape the dust and opened the cover of the new book. He was looking for something. He wasn't sure what, but he'd know it when he found it. As of late he had found it difficult to make time to read. Too much to do, far too much, and—

…Ugh. Half of this page was missing.

"Anti-Wanda's been eating the books again," he said with a sniff, closing the book. He dropped back down until he hovered only a few feet over the ground and slipped back out into the hall with the book under his arm, pulling the oak door closed again.

Then he straightened up and adjusted his monocle before loudly calling, "FOOP!"

With a blue puff of smoke the square-shaped Anti-Fairy baby materialized. He was holding two beat-up fairy figurines that looked like they had recently been put through a duel to the death with each other.

"Yes, Father?" Foop drawled, dropping his arms and _poof!_ing the figurines away.

Anti-Cosmo jabbed a finger at the library door. "That room is a _disgrace!_ I gave you the task of keeping the library clean and respectable… and keeping your mother out of it." He displayed the chewed page to his son and closed the book again. "It was _your_ responsibility!"

"Father, if you don't mind, I'm far too busy for that drivel." Foop's expression hadn't changed.

"Don't take that tone with me, or I'll turn you into a toad!" Anti-Cosmo held up his index finger to the Anti-baby.

"I will just change _back_, Father!"

Anti-Cosmo smirked, triumphant. "_You_ don't have control of your shape-shifting yet, or enough magic for it. You're talking nonsense!"

Foop opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again and frowned. "…Touché, Father, touché."

Anti-Cosmo pointed to the library door again. "Now go in there and clean it!"

Foop crossed his arms. "Can't I do that _later?_"

Disobedient pest. He would learn to respect his elders and betters… In time, in time.

Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Very well." It wasn't as if a few more hours or even a few more days could harm the library much more, anyway. When the Anti-Fairies had escaped the fairy prisons and returned back here, their true home, they had found the place in near-ruins and completely filthy. Anti-Cosmo just hadn't had the chance to do much about the dreadful state of the library. At least he still had his most prized books locked away in his bedroom, kept perfect and pristine and hidden where neither dust nor grubby Anti-fingers could find them.

Besides, he had pressing matters to attend to. He didn't have time for—hold the phone.

He had turned to float off down the corridor but now he whipped back around and glared at his son suspiciously. "Foop, with what _exactly_ are you 'far too busy' to clean the library?"

Fear and perhaps guilt passed over the baby's face before he sent the look away again. "Oh, er, things."

Anti-Cosmo floated closer, ready to spring at a moment's notice. "You can't be busy. You are barely three months old."

Foop stiffened in reproach. "Yes, so young, and you would have me clean the library!" His eyes grew bigger, as if he was attempting to appeal to a side of Anti-Cosmo that took pity on cute things. No such side existed.

Besides, this creature wasn't even cute. Now spiders… spiders were cute.

This was getting nowhere. Anti-Cosmo silently declared the conversation over and floated down the corridor in the opposite direction, still clutching his book.

Foop was following him.

"Father, may I ask; what are _you_ always so busy with?" the baby said.

Ha! As if he would tell the little monster anything. Where had that gotten them last time? Oh, that's right—the entirety of Anti-Fairy World drained of magic. "That does not concern you," he said instead.

Foop changed tactics. "Father, how old are you?"

Odd question. Fairies and Anti-Fairies hardly bothered with their age. They lived forever, so what was the point of counting years?

Although… Anti-Cosmo knew exactly how old he was, of course. But that didn't mean he had to tell his son. "That does not concern you, either."

Foop sped up until the two of them were drifting at the same pace. "Cosmo is the second-youngest fairy in existence. Anti-Fairies are always born some length of time after their fairy counterparts."

Where was this information coming from? Curses, the boy had been doing his research. Anti-Cosmo did not deign to reply.

"You see where I'm going with this, Father," Foop continued. "You're the youngest Anti-Fairy in existence, save for me."

Anti-Cosmo was gripping his black magic wand so tightly that his knuckles were bleached white. "…Yes. That's true."

Foop pressed on. "You're the youngest, but you're the leader and guardian of Anti-Fairy World! Ruler of all you survey—everything the light doesn't touch is yours!" His voice had taken on a tone that sounded like he was talking about himself rather than his father. "So much power and you don't even use it!"

"That's quite enough of that." Anti-Cosmo twisted his head to scowl at his son. "Do I need to take your bottle away again?"

Foop yawned. "Threaten all you want. Mother will just get me a new ba-ba. I mean, bottle."

Spoiled brat.

"One more thing I must ask," Foop said carefully. "How did you, the _youngest_ Anti-Fairy, become ruler of Anti-Fairy World?" The baby was grinning, baring his little pearly fangs.

Egads, living with this boy was like living with a viper. You never knew when it would strike.

Anti-Cosmo lifted himself higher with a downward stroke of his wings, towering over the Anti-baby. "Listen well, _Foop_. Get all of those silly ideas out of your head. You'll not be ruling Anti-Fairy World—not now, not ever! It is _my_ domain, and mine alone! If you try anything to the contrary, I'll send you straight back to Jorgen and you'll end up in Abracatraz!" Ohh, Jorgen would give his left leg to get the Anti-Fairies back in that ghastly prison. Luckily even he did not dare set foot in Anti-Fairy World except for extremely urgent business.

Anti-Cosmo sank back down again. "Perhaps when we rule the universe you can have control over the Earth, or something."

Evidently this conversation had strayed from where Foop had wanted it to go. He threw his bottle to the ground so hard that the plastic cracked. "I don't _want_ the Earth. The Earth is _boring!_"

"Tough tacos! You're lucky I'm considering giving you anything!" Anti-Cosmo retrieved the discarded bottle and tossed it to Foop. "Go find your mother and get her to refill this thing with juice before you leave for Spellementary School. You're nearly out."

Scowling, Foop snatched his bottle back. "I _loathe_ you."

He disappeared with a little _pop_.

"The feeling is mutual!" Anti-Cosmo called back. Then he, too, anti-_poof!_ed away.


	2. Shattered Glass

The room was dark, and still—and, most of all, quiet. The sky outside was gray with predawn light but with the curtains pulled closed over the window, none of it leaked through. The only sounds were the steady breathing of the young bucktoothed boy sleeping deeply in his bed and the snores coming from a green, plush armchair that hovered in the corner.

There was a _pop_ and two giggling, floating figures appeared in the room. They both carried gold star-tipped wands that shimmered slightly in the darkness.

"That was the most fun I've had in months!" one of the figures said. She broke out in a fit of giggles again.

"Yeah… yeah, and remember… remember when the guy said… and then the other guy said… and… AND…" the second figure shook with laughter. The first figure embraced him.

"We should go out to dinner more often!" she said. "But… maybe not any more as crazy as that one."

The second figure looked around the room. "Hey, the house isn't destroyed!" he said happily. Indeed, there were no signs of destruction. That was always nice to come home to.

The first figure zipped over to the table standing beside the boy's bed and swiveled the digital alarm clock sitting on it to face her. "Oh, we were gone longer than I thought… it's almost time to wake up Timmy for school. I hope Timmy and Poof didn't stay up too late!"

Her husband flitted over to the floating green armchair. "Mama! Mama, we're back!"

The snoring cut off abruptly. The female fairy that had been fast asleep in the chair opened her emerald-colored eyes. "Oh, Cosmo dear, you're back!" she said, lifting off of the chair. Cradled in her arms was a little purple ball of a sleeping baby. "Little Poof was no trouble at all! He did need a diaper change that took all evening but other than that he was a joy to look after!"

"Thanks for coming, Mama Cosma, especially on such short notice," the pink-haired fairy said. She went to take the baby from the other fairy but Mama Cosma pulled away and handed Poof over to her son instead.

"Of course with a mother like _you_, Wanda, it's a wonder he's survived this long!" Mama Cosma continued. "_Honestly_, the way you—"

"Well, thanks again!" Wanda said quickly. "We'll call you if we need your help looking after Poof again! Bye!" She raised her wand and Mama Cosma and the armchair disappeared. Then she sagged. "Well, that's a relief. At least we didn't need to worry after all."

At that moment the alarm clock buzzed loudly. Wanda flew over to the sleeping child and sang, "Good morning, Timmy!"

Timmy Turner blinked open his eyes and sat up. "What? Oh, you're back. Good, Mama Cosma's a freak."

"Hey, that's my Mama you're talking abou—" Cosmo started to say, but Wanda took Poof from him and prodded him toward the fishbowl sitting on Timmy's bedside table.

"Cosmo, will you go get the mail?" she said.

Cosmo lost his train of thought completely and nodded. "Yeah, okay," he said, and vanished with a wave of his wand.

"How'd your date go?" Timmy asked to make conversation. He climbed sleepily out of bed and headed over to his closet to get dressed.

"It was fun!" Wanda replied. "We—"

"Hey! Hey, look at this!" an excited voice warbled from the fishbowl. Cosmo, as a goldfish, swam out of the castle in the bowl and _poof!_ed to the center of the room in his normal fairy form. He brandished a letter clutched in his hand, a wide smile on his face. "Guess what? We're winning Godparents of the Year!"

"What?" Wanda looked up. She had woken Poof and was about to bottle-feed him. With the fairy baby supported in one arm she zipped over to Cosmo and snatched the letter. "Let me see that!"

Timmy, slipping his shirt over his head, went over to Cosmo as well. "What's 'Godparents of the Year'?" he asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like, silly!" Cosmo replied while Wanda scanned the letter. "It means we're the best, most smartest fairy godparents ever! We've never won it before because most of our attempts at godparenting have led to horrible failures but I've wanted to win it all my life! Or for the past five minutes, anyway."

"Cosmo, this just means we've been nominated!" Wanda said, looking up. Unlike Cosmo, she had actually opened the envelope in order to read what the letter actually said. "We haven't _won_ yet. There are probably plenty of other nominees."

"Oh, well, in that case we'll never win," Cosmo said.

Wanda continued down the page. "It looks like we're invited to a dinner next Thursday where they'll announce the winner!" she said. "It's a formal affair…" She glanced over at her husband. "Do we even have formal clothes anymore?"

"Sure we do!" Cosmo said. "And Poof's only barfed on them a couple of times!"

"Am I coming, too?" Timmy asked with mixed feelings. It was a formal dinner, which would normally bore him to death, but since it was in Fairy World… hey, it had to be at least _somewhat_ interesting.

Wanda flipped over the letter to look at the back, which turned out to be blank. "It doesn't say anything about godkids. But this entire thing is for fairy godparents! What are the godkids supposed to do?" She suddenly looked irritated.

"Timmy could stay here with Poof!" Cosmo flew over to Timmy, the little bee wings on his back whirring soundlessly. "They can babysit each other!"

"I guess I'd be okay with that," Timmy said. Poof dropped into his arms and he twirled a finger through his little godbrother's lone strand of hair.

"Well, maybe," Wanda fretted, clutching her wand with both hands. "At least it's a week away and we don't have to worry about it just yet. Now, Timmy, you've got to go down and get breakfast and I've got to get Poof off to Spellementary School!"

"Yeah… see you later, Poof," Timmy said, releasing Poof and letting the fairy baby fly back up to Wanda. The two of them vanished in a puff of smoke. "Hey, Cosmo, wanna come downstairs with me? Maybe I can slip you some bacon or something."

Cosmo beamed. "Bacon! Yay!" he cheered, and followed Timmy out of the room.

* * *

It had been a long, difficult day.

Anti-Cosmo blinked rapidly as he left his dark study and emerged into the somewhat less-dim dining hall. The great fire that was always roaring in the grate snapped greedily at the logs that had been fed to it. It made the dining hall the brightest room in the castle. He sat down at his usual place at the head of the table and conjured a piping-hot cup of tea from thin air, delicately taking a sip. Ahhh… yes. That hit the spot. He sighed. Spending hours sitting in a dark study, making sure the Anti-Fairies' magic didn't lose control or become unbalanced, doing your best to fill out endless paperwork that would _hopefully_ keep your fellow Anti-Fairies out of Abracatraz Prison for a few more days… it would be enough to make _anyone_ a tad bit parched.

He took another sip of tea and conjured up a scone to go with it. They were quite scrumptious.

A sudden puff of blue smoke announced the arrival of Anti-Wanda. She hovered over the long table, looking panic-stricken. "I can't find l'il Foopie! I can't find him anywheres!" she said. Anti-Cosmo couldn't be sure whether she was actually talking to him because at that moment she spotted him and darted over, flinging her arms around him in a hug. "Hi!"

Her embrace knocked Anti-Cosmo's hand and caused him to spill the hot tea all down his front. He sucked in a hissing breath through his teeth and waved his wand, disappearing from that spot and reappearing a few feet away. "Good day, my dear," he said wearily, drying his jacket with magic.

His wife burst into tears. "'S not day anymore, 's night! I ain't seen you all day! And l'il Foopie should be back from school by now but he's not! He's missing!"

Guilt stirred in Anti-Cosmo and he lowered his wand. He did so hate to see her upset. He flew back over, gently taking her hand. "My dear Anti-Wanda, if you keep referring to him by the name 'Foopie,' it's no surprise to me that he's run off."

Anti-Wanda snatched her hand away. "Quit talkin' all fancy-like!"

"Er… sorry." Anti-Cosmo adjusted his monocle awkwardly. "I'll help you look for Foop, shall I?"

His wife brightened up considerably. "Nah, you've got too much work to do! I'll find the l'il nipper!" She squeezed Anti-Cosmo in a hug again, so hard that he feared one of his ribs might crack. "Aw, I love both of y'all! Sooo muuuuch!" And then she was gone again.

Anti-Cosmo smoothed down his jacket. "Yes. Quite."

He flew back down to the table, cleared away the teacup and the remnants of the scone, and _poof!_ed up the book he had taken from the library that morning. He sat back down and opened it.

The book was old, terribly old. It smelled of dust and mildew and the writing in it was an older language that proved difficult to decipher, even for him. His heart skipped a beat. This must be one of the old dark magic books. The fairies had banned them… thousands of years ago… how was it that he had managed to retain a copy of one? He must have hidden it away... Clever of him. Perhaps the book would be useful.

The book was all about spells. Strange, he had nearly forgotten that fairies and Anti-Fairies had used spells long ago. Nowadays, thanks to the Big Wands, all they needed to do was think of what they wanted and, with a twitch of the wand, it happened. The one repercussion to this was that the little wands had to retain a connection to the Big Wand. They received all their magic from it and so had a limited supply.

There was a little _pop_ that Anti-Cosmo ignored.

"Father," a voice said.

Anti-Cosmo tapped his chin with his own black wand, the implications of this discovery, the spells in this book, racing through his mind. Might one be able to relearn the old spells? Perhaps even to the point where a wand was not required anymore? Oh, the possibilities, the _possibilities!_ He would be unstoppable, he would be…

"Father!"

Irritably, Anti-Cosmo looked up. "Yes?"

Foop was floating over the table. "Father, I—"

"Foop!" Anti-Cosmo suddenly realized who had been trying to get his attention. "_There _you are. Your mother has been going out of her mind with worry looking for you. Next time you plan to stay out longer than usual, tell her!" He focused back on his book. "Leave me, now, I have much work to do."

"_Father!_" Foop shouted.

"Yes? What is it?" Anti-Cosmo looked up again, quickly losing his patience.

Foop sighed, glaring down at the table. "I've been expelled."

"What's this? Expelled?" Anti-Cosmo rose into the air. "From Spellementary School?" The spell book was quite suddenly forgotten.

"Yes!" Foop crossed his arms, his face puckered in a pout.

"What for?" Anti-Cosmo was flabbergasted. Never before had he heard of someone being _expelled _from the school.

Foop furrowed his brow. "There was an ordinance passed by the _Fairy Council_ saying that Anti-Fairies couldn't be taught in fairy schools any longer. Why didn't _you_ know of this?"

The words rang through the air but Anti-Cosmo had trouble registering them. He dropped onto the table and spread his arms in disbelieving fury. "You were _kicked out_ of that school… for being an _Anti-Fairy?_"

"I thought it might be some mistake, but—"

"A mistake?" Anti-Cosmo snapped his head up to look at Foop. "Oh _no_, the Supreme Fairy Council does not _make _mistakes. This was intentional, an insult directed at us and us alone. Spellementary School is not purely for _fairies_, it's for magical creatures of every type! They have no right to ban you from it!"

Foop shrugged. "If it's all the same to you, Father, I never liked that school much anyway."

Anti-Cosmo lifted into the air again and crossed his arms. "This is not about _you_, child, this is about fairies and their centuries of oppression toward us!" He raised his wand, which sparked. "Go find your mother immediately!" He sent Foop away in a puff of smoke and _poof!_ed back to his spot at the table, fuming.

_Fairies_. Oh, how he hated them. He and the other Anti-Fairies prided themselves in being the foulest, most evil, feared creatures in the universe. But the atrocities committed against them by the fairies, who were supposed to be "kind" and "fair" and the embodiment of goodness… it made him sick.

Anti-Cosmo raised his wand once more and vanished from the room.

* * *

It was impossible to simply _poof!_ to Spellementary School due to the magical defenses set up around the place. It had been that way for thousands of years. However, the school was accessible from every magical realm, even Anti-Fairy World (Despite the fact that, if Foop was to be believed, Anti-Fairies had recently been denied entrance). Most creatures reached the school by car, planes, jets, Pegasi, et cetera. Anti-Cosmo decided not to bother with any of that and anti-_poof!_ed as close as he could get, then flew the rest of the way under his own power.

He bobbed up and down in the air outside the wooden doors of the school before pushing his way inside. Although it was still lit up inside, the hallways were empty. Well, of course. The school day was over. But surely there must be teachers and instructors here still? Anti-Cosmo flew down the hall, glancing into dark rooms as he passed but seeing no one. At last he came to a classroom that still had lights on and hovered outside.

"Oh, hello!" the creature at the desk said, looking up.

Anti-Cosmo took that as an invitation and floated into the room, regarding the creature that had addressed him. It was… difficult to tell what she was. She was floating behind her desk but from what he could see, she didn't have wings. She also carried a wand that lacked a star tip… and she didn't dress much like a fairy, either. Odd.

"Anti-Cosmo!" the woman realized, sounding startled. "Why… to what do I owe the… pleasure?"

"Oh, the pleasure is all _mine_," Anti-Cosmo said, although anyone could tell he didn't mean it. "Mrs. Powers, I presume?"

"Yes, that's me," the woman replied. She had an airy, cheery voice that kind of got on Anti-Cosmo's nerves. He had apparently interrupted her while she was sorting through a stack of papers that sparkled as if they were sprinkled with fairy dust. She picked up some sort of silver briefcase from the floor and dropped the papers into it, sending up a cloud of purple dust. "I'm afraid I don't have much time for a chat right now, I have to—"

"I won't stay long. I only came because my son Foop was in your class," Anti-Cosmo broke in. _Was_. Past tense. He clasped his hands behind his back and waited for the teacher's response.

Mrs. Powers suddenly seemed very interested in the clasps on her briefcase. "Yes, Foop… A very bright child… He caused a lot of trouble, but when he wasn't injuring other students or destroying school property he was a joy to teach. It's an absolute shame he's been suspended."

Suspended? Anti-Cosmo drifted closer. "My son told me he'd been _expelled_."

Mrs. Powers immediately took on her light, airy, happy demeanor once more. "Oh, that's not true! He's been suspended due to his poor behavior. We haven't decided how long his suspension will last but it might be quite a while. Now excuse me, I have to go." She picked up her briefcase and started floating toward the door.

"Not just yet!" Anti-Cosmo said. The star tip of his wand sparkled and the classroom door swung closed. _Someone_ was lying here… and he was determined to find out the truth. "Is it not true that your Fairy Council passed an ordinance saying that Anti-Fairies could no longer attend this school?"

Mrs. Powers looked back around at him, her face drained of all color. "How… how did you know—"

And there it was.

Apparently, Foop _hadn't_ just been making things up again.

"So, this newest injustice was meant to be kept secret?" Anti-Cosmo crossed his arms over his chest. "It's not like the fairies to not want to _brag_ about something like this."

"I had nothing to do with this!" Mrs. Powers said quickly. "If it were up to me, Foop would stay in this school no matter _how_ poor his behavior was, but the Fairy Council decided that—"

That was _enough_.

"The _Fairy Council!_" Anti-Cosmo exploded, all thoughts of manners and politeness pushed to the side for the time being. "_Fairy _Council! For _fairies! _What about _us?_ Should we not have our _own_ Council? How does the Fairy Council have any jurisdiction whatso_ever_ over Anti-Fairies? I have said it before, but think of our accomplishments!" He listed them off on his fingers. "Spiders! Bats! Pinkeye! Paper cuts! Crazy cow disease! Bad luck! What have fairies created? Nothing—you insect-winged morons steal _all_ of your ideas and technology from the humans!"

"See here, your behavior is most uncouth—" Mrs. Powers said, her hands on her hips.

Anti-Cosmo pointed straight up at the ceiling. "We will no longer stand for it! We are not lawless criminals to be shoved into a corner and forgotten. We are the force that balances out the power in the universe and _without_ us the universe would crumble—and it's time the fairies were reminded of it!"

Mrs. Powers stared. "Are you declaring _war?_" she gasped. Anti-Cosmo paused and lowered his hand.

"…No," he said, looking at her smugly. "I have something… much _better_ in mind. I used to think that Foop was being far too hasty with his brash attempt to conquer Fairy World—an act which, need I remind you, was successful although brief—but now I believe he may have had the right idea after all. The days of the fairies being in power are coming to an end, and we will be victorious. This—I—swear!"

He raised his wand, which shone brightly, and as he did every window in the room shattered at once. Mrs. Powers shrieked and covered her face with her briefcase to evade the flying shards of glass.

Anti-Cosmo looked around at the destruction he had caused. "Hm, that created a nice effect. I like it!" He turned back to Mrs. Powers. "I do hope you enjoyed this little 'chat.' Ta-ta!" he said, before flitting out one of the broken windows and into the sky, headed back toward Anti-Fairy World and his own castle.

He had work to do.


	3. Spells

A/N: I'm so sorry this is so late! I'm slow at updates even when I don't have writer's block and you'd be amazed at how bad a case you can get when you've been watching a ton of Doctor Who for two months and have got nothing but Daleks on the brain. I may have to stick an homage or two into this story somewhere now.

* * *

Five minutes left of school left.

Timmy's eyes traced the second hand on its painfully slow journey around the clock face, his entire body limp and his cheek pressed up against the wood of his desk as if it was glued there.

Four minutes left.

"I should just get rid of that clock," Denzel Crocker, Timmy's fairy-obsessed teacher, muttered from the front of the room. He was hunched over with his arms full of a stack of papers. The stack couldn't be _that_ heavy, but Crocker always said that the sheer spirit-crushing power of all the F's gave it more weight. Maybe that was why he had a hunch in his back.

"It gives you too much hope." Crocker was still glaring at the clock. "…Of course, it gives _me_ hope, too. All right!" He straightened up. "Before school ends I'm going to pass back the grades on your latest POP QUIZZES!" His face contorted when he said the phrase and he nearly crushed the papers in his hands, but as usual he carried on as if nothing had happened. "Come and get them while I announce your grade and humiliate you in front of the class! Chester! Forty-three percent! F!"

"Whoo-hoo! I got more than a zero this time!" Chester McBadbat, Timmy's best friend, cheered. He hopped up, took his quiz, and sat back down, admiring it.

Timmy glanced at him. "How does Crocker still have a job?" he muttered to no one in particular.

"Uh… he doesn't get paid much?" the green pencil resting on Timmy's desk suggested. Other than the Cosmo-pencil, the desk was bare. Wanda had gone to Spellementary School to pick up Poof.

"Timmy Turner! Fifteen percent! F!" Crocker laughed, displaying Timmy's quiz to the class.

Timmy looked up, stunned. "What! How did I do worse than Chester?!" He hurried to the front of the room, snatched his quiz, and sat back down again. The class was still laughing. Timmy's cheeks burned.

Crocker scowled at the next paper. "A.J., one hundred and twenty percent, A plus," he said. He shoved the more-than-perfect paper at A.J. without looking at him and kept reading.

"Dude, there wasn't even any extra credit," Timmy said to A.J. The child genius grinned.

"There doesn't have to be! Gosh, Timmy, you haven't figured out how to get more points even without extra credit? That's kind of sad."

"He's right, it _is_ kinda sad," Cosmo said. Timmy stuffed the Cosmo-pencil eraser-down in his pocket, ignoring the muffled protests.

One and a half minutes left.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo appeared in the dining hall of his castle to find that it was as he had left it… except the spellbook he'd been reading was gone. Blast, now he had to waste time looking for it. And he was so excited after his marvelous exit at that school, too! He'd wanted to try to working some of the spells right away.

Now that he was back and he couldn't implement his plan immediately, he took a moment to hover in thought over the table. My, his behavior when dealing with that teacher _had _been uncouth. He had absolutely no regrets for blasting out the windows _or _for the things he had said, of course. But losing his temper! Tsk. He was better than that. He knew he was.

In the quiet he could hear rattling noises coming from the kitchen and without thinking he drifted closer to the wooden door leading to it. "Anti-Wanda?"

The door swung open. "You're back!" his wife said, hurrying toward him. "You were gone an awful long time. And I found Foop!" She looked overjoyed. "Where'd you go, anyhow?"

"Er, I had a grievance to address," Anti-Cosmo replied, tucking his feet behind him as he floated. "Do you know what happened to the book I was reading?"

"Oh, I put that away!" Anti-Wanda said with a dull-eyed smile.

Anti-Cosmo drooped. That book could be anywhere, now. Perhaps he could scan for it magically. It had taken him ages to find the book in the first place… he raised his wand to anti-_poof!_ to the library.

Before he could, his wife spoke. "Oh, you're leavin' again?" Her voice was downcast.

Anti-Cosmo paused. "Well—"

"We never spend any time together as a _family!_" Anti-Wanda said. She was wringing her hands and she wasn't looking at him. "Foop's all upset too. I think he misses you…"

"I doubt that," Anti-Cosmo said. "And I understand, my dim beloved, but I have a plan to conquer all of Fairy World! And I need that book."

"Aww, can't it wait?"

"It cannot!"

Anti-Wanda bowed her head. "All right," she said, and backed away. She looked absolutely miserable.

Well.

He needed to perform the spells right away… but perhaps he didn't need to be so abrupt with her.

"Hold on," he said, putting out a hand to stop his wife from flying away. "Anti-Wanda, my dear. Perhaps you are right, we haven't spent much time together lately. And for that I am deeply sorry. As soon as this is over I will make sure to take a break from working, and the three of us can take a holiday."

"Really?" Anti-Wanda smiled hugely and her eyes lit up with surprised delight. "That's dandy! We could go see a movie! Or take Foop to see those gian' spiders at the park, or go on a picnic! Or go bowlin'!"

Anti-Cosmo smiled. "That sounds good to you?"

In answer, Anti-Wanda threw her arms around him and gave him another tight hug. "Yeah! If ya really mean it!"

Anti-Cosmo, as best he could with Anti-Wanda hugging him, traced one finger over his chest in an x-shape. "Cross my black heart," he said.

"Aw, your heart ain't black." Anti-Wanda let go of him. "'S all blue and gooey. I'll go tell Foop that we's goin' on vacation!" With that she twirled her wand and vanished in a puff of smoke.

Anti-Cosmo anti-_poof!_ed away as well, reappearing in the library. He found the spellbook rather easily, actually, despite what he had first thought. Mainly because it was the one thing in the room that wasn't covered in dust… and it was just lying at the foot of a bookshelf where Anti-Wanda had presumably placed it for unknown reasons.

Anti-Cosmo picked it up and traced his finger down the book's spine. It seemed to tingle in his fingertips, like the power of the spells contained within the book were nearly leaping from the pages in their excitement to be used after millennia of confinement. He could try performing the spells now. He could get rid of Fairy World. After centuries upon centuries, he could finally put the Anti-Fairies in their rightful place as rulers of the universe…

_Right._

_Now._

But not in here. The buildup of dust was making him cough. He raised his arm and _poof!_ed back to the dining hall, hovering over his place at the head of the long table, and placing the book in front of him once again.

He gingerly opened it to the first few pages and studied it once more, devouring the words on the first pages (the words that had not been literally devoured by Anti-Wanda at some point, anyway).

He looked up from the book and stared at a spot on the other side of the hall without really seeing it. "Our magic mostly involves conjuring," he mused, turning his wand around in his fingers and gazing at it. "Conjuring up ideas, thoughts, emotions, feelings, physical objects, people, plagues to destroy all of Fairy World… And switching things! Conjuring things, moving things, switching things. What if we could do more with these?" He raised his wand and the pages turned of their own accord before coming to a stop on a section labeled "Switching Spells."

"Yes, yes, dark magic. The most powerful in the universe!" Anti-Cosmo said greedily. He read through it as thoroughly as he could (the book was old and the language, already difficult to decipher, seemed to be getting even more illegible). As he read, a plan formed in his mind. The book talked about a powerful switching spell.

A switching spell that was so powerful it had the ability to reverse the roles of fairies and Anti-Fairies.

Anti-Cosmo's head spun. This was unbelievably perfect! By using this spell, he could change everything! It would be Anti-Fairies who got the godchildren. Anti-Fairies who were renowned as the most powerful creatures in existence. Anti-Fairies who got the press and the recognition! No longer would they be forced to hid here shamefully with the risk of capture should they set foot outside their own domain! No longer would they have only the shriveled, off-kilter Big Wand that received nothing more than the remnants of unused magic from Fairy World!

He realized that in this train wreck of thoughts he had risen higher and higher and was about to hit his head on the dining hall ceiling. He dropped back into his chair. Should he try the spell now? No sense in waiting… that was all Anti-Fairies had ever done, wait, for hundreds of years, until young Timothy Turner had released them all from their prison…

Yes. He would try the spell now. It was a good time, after his tirade at the Spellementary School. The fairies may suspect that he was up to something, but they would never be expecting a strike like this.

He read and reread the words on the page, turning them over in his mind, letting them fill him from the pointed tips of his ears to his toes. Without realizing it, he began speaking them aloud.

The black star on the end of his wand began to glow with blue light and an icy sensation blossomed in his fingertips, traveling the length of his arm. It was not altogether pleasant. But even if he had wanted to, he didn't think he could stop now. His wand glowed brighter and brighter.

Wait a moment, this spell… it was powerful enough to switch the roles of fairies and Anti-Fairies. It was centuries old. If it was that powerful, and that old, why, _why _had these spells not been used before now?

His look melted into one of horror. There was one explanation; the spells may not have been used because perhaps there was something horribly _wrong_ with them. What if this spell backfired somehow? Who was he to dive into something like this blindly without careful study?

Who was he, _Cosmo?_

How could he have been so _stupid?_

He tried to let go of the wand but his hand seemed to be frozen to it. Well, peachy.

Anti-Wanda _poof!_ed back into the room, nearly scaring Anti-Cosmo out of his wits. "Look, I found him!" She held out a squirming Foop to her husband, beaming.

Foop stilled and stared at the glowing wand. "Father, what are you _doing?_"

The baby noticed the open book on the table and darted forward to grab it, but Anti-Cosmo slammed it shut with his free hand and clutched it close to his chest.

"Flee! Both of you!" he commanded, ushering them away. His eyes were so wide that his monocle was in danger of falling out. His right hand continued to maintain a death grip on his wand.

"What's a matter?" Anti-Wanda cried.

"Just get out of here, Woman!" Anti-Cosmo snapped. Fear made his voice harsh.

An orb of light had appeared and was spiraling around the star at the top of his wand, revolving faster and faster until it looked like a ring.

"Get OUT!" Anti-Cosmo shrieked, his heart pounding in his ears. He thought he heard a little _pop_ that indicated his wife and son leaving the room, but it was impossible to be positive. Something seemed to explode in his face and a cloud of gray smoke erupted around him.

The small, blue hand of an Anti-Fairy baby emerged through the smoke in front of him. Anti-Cosmo thought Foop was reaching for him… but instead the hand tried to grab the book out of his arms.

And it nearly did. But then the hand, and everything else, disappeared.


	4. Magic Goes Awry

It had grown colder over the day, so that when Timmy headed home after school finally let out the sky was overcast and snowflakes drifted down to settle gently on the ground. Timmy kicked up snow with every step down the sidewalk. He didn't pay much mind to it; his attention was instead riveted entirely on the new videogame that had been waiting in his room since yesterday.

As he walked, a pink dog with a purple puppy popped into existence next to him.

"Sorry we're a bit late, sport," Wanda said. "I had some trouble getting Poof out of school. He wouldn't come because, well, apparently Foop's been expelled."

"How come it took so long for them to expel him?" Timmy asked, looking down at her and cracking a smile.

Wanda's doggy features were furrowed with worry. "Mrs. Powers wouldn't tell us _why_ he'd been expelled. He must have done something _terrible!_" She looked around, her expression clearing. "Hey, where's Cosmo?"

Timmy simply jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Wanda turned to see Cosmo, in the form of a bright green dog, furiously digging in a pile of snow.

"I found a gopher!" Cosmo said excitedly when he noticed her looking at him.

Wanda sighed and turned away again. "So anyway, Timmy, how's your paper on Abraham Lincoln coming along?"

Timmy froze. "Paper?"

"Yes, the paper you've been working on for three weeks," Wanda said, her eyes narrowed. "It's due tomorrow." She glanced up to see that Timmy's face was a picture of horrified realization. "…You haven't even started it, have you."

Timmy snapped out of his stupor and quickened his pace. "Ah, I'll do that after I've played Death By Zombies 5 a little."

"Oh! I've heard of that game!" Cosmo chimed in, bounding away from the snow pile to catch up with them. "It has three times as much violence as the other four Death By Zombies combined!"

"Timmy, you know I don't like those kinds of games!" Wanda scolded, with a fretful glance at Poof.

"Relax, Wanda, it's just a game." Timmy brushed off her concerns and turned onto the walkway of the Turner household. He rushed inside, shedding his coat and dropping it on the floor, then dashed upstairs and grabbed his Game Boy from where he had hidden it under his bed. Neither of his parents sent him any word of greeting when he entered the house, or even seemed to notice that he had arrived at all.

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appeared in Timmy's room with a little _pop_. Wanda immediately zipped over to Timmy. "You're supposed to be working on your paper!"

Timmy ignored that and sat on his bed, switching on the game. "Come on, I just got this!" he protested. "I'll play for a while and throw the paper together in like five minutes. Okay? I know _loads_ about Abraham Lincoln."

Wanda crossed her arms. "Really? So tell me, why was he significant?"

"He was president. Duh," Timmy said with a roll of his eyes.

"That's it? What about the Gettysburg Address? The Emancipation Proclamation? The _Civil War? _Any of this ringing a bell?"

"How about Lincoln Logs?" Cosmo put in.

"Poof?" was Poof's addition.

"Yeah, I know about all that. Now hang on, I'm killing the first few zombies!" Timmy leaned forward, tongue poking between his teeth and fingers flying over the game controls.

Wanda scowled. She lifted her wand. And, in a blink, the little game system vanished from Timmy's hands.

"Hey!" Timmy jerked his head up. "Why'd you do that? I didn't wish for that!"

Wanda shrugged and examined her nails, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Whoops, I guess my wand malfunctioned. Looks like I'll have to get that checked."

Timmy jumped off the bed. "That's not—"

"Timmy!" his mom, Mrs. Turner, called from downstairs. "Are you there? We made dinner early and forgot to call you!"

"I want my game back," Timmy said to Wanda with a glare.

Wanda dropped the act, frowning right back at her godson. "Timmy, you have to write this paper! You're _failing_ the fifth grade!"

Timmy turned to his other godparent. "Cosmo, I wish I had my game back!"

While Wanda drooped in irritated defeat, Cosmo raised his wand with a dubious look on his face. But nothing happened.

"Cosmo, I said I wish my game was back," Timmy said, while Wanda looked at her husband curiously.

"Ah, yeah, uh, hang on." Cosmo shook the wand. It fizzled a bit but other than that nothing remotely magical happened. "Huh? It's cold!"

"What are you doing?" Wanda reached to take the wand from Cosmo but withdrew her hand with a sharp gasp. "It's like ice! No, colder! What have you done?"

"I don't know!" The wand was now leaking dark gray smoke, causing Timmy and the three fairies to stare at it in alarm.

"Let go of it!" Wanda commanded.

Cosmo shook his hand back and forth in an apparent effort to release the wand. "I can't!"

A glowing orb formed next to the wand and spun around the star tip so fast that it blurred and became simply a streak of light. Cosmo blanched and held it as far away from him as he could, a panicked edge to his voice as he said, "WANDA—"

Wanda lunged forward, grabbed the wand despite the fact that the cold burnt her fingers, and tried to yank it out of Cosmo's grasp. It did no good and she jerked away again as though electrified.

Cosmo backed away from the rest of them. "Timmy! You wished for the wrong thing!" he cried, his eyes not leaving the wand. Smoke still poured from it, causing everyone's eyes to water.

"I only wanted my game back!" Timmy said desperately.

From downstairs, his dad yelled this time. "Timmy! Come down and eat the dinner your mother remembered to make for you!"

Timmy ignored him and continued to gape at Cosmo. He took a step forward, but Wanda shot toward him and barreled him over, grabbing Poof as well and pulling him close to her. "DUCK AND COVER!" she yelled. She dove with Timmy and Poof into the corner.

Cosmo, one last time, tried to throw the wand away from himself. "AHH! I don't have any ducks! Or covers!"

He could barely be seen any longer. As Timmy, Wanda, and Poof watched in astonishment, the smoke enveloped him entirely.

There was a flash of light and a sound like an explosion.

Then there was the sound of coughing. It sounded a bit like Cosmo, but… not.

The person obscured by the smoke waved it aside, coughing into his fist. The trio recognized him immediately and they were so stunned that for a moment they sat in shocked silence. Then they screamed.

As soon as the smoke had cleared Anti-Cosmo glanced down at himself and broke into a broad grin. "Aha! I'm alive!" His voice rasped slightly due to the smoke. "Oh, well done, well done indeed, now to see this great new world of—" He was patting the spine of a book tucked under his arm when he caught sight of Timmy, Wanda, and Poof, and cut himself off. "Oh! …It's you."

Wanda moved forward. "_Anti-Cosmo?_" she said in disbelief.

The Anti-Fairy brushed off his jacket, his bright green eyes, the same color as Cosmo's, darting about the room. "Why yes, hello. Let's see, since you three are here I take it this is… Timmy Turner's bedroom. How in blazes did I end up _here?_"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Wanda, looking livid, deposited Poof into Timmy's arms and darted forward to confront the dark fairy. "What are you doing here? What've you done with Cosmo?"

"Er, one moment, Wanda," Anti-Cosmo said, brushing past her and flying to the window. Timmy backed away from him, clutching Poof to his chest. Anti-Cosmo's strange behavior confused him. The Anti-Fairy was acting much more unsure of himself than the suave, genius supervillain Timmy was used to dealing with.

Anti-Cosmo looked around at the world outside the window, is brow furrowed. "Nothing, no change… none whatsoever. Intriguing. Very intriguing." He looked back over at them and smiled slightly, his fangs glinting in the light. "I'll be on my way, then." And with a flick of the wand he disappeared.

"What was _that_ about?" Timmy said.

"I don't know…" Wanda flitted over to where Cosmo had vanished to be replaced by Anti-Cosmo and flew circles over the area. "Cosmo's disappeared! Where could he have gone?! And why did that… Anti-Fairy show up?"

The sound of clomping footsteps on the stairs snapped them out of their confusion. The two fairies _poof!_ed into the forms of goldfish in Timmy's fishbowl just as Mr. Turner burst into the room.

"Your food's gotten cold!" he said, and lowered his voice. "Not that that makes it any more unappetizing than it already is but, uh…"

"I'm coming right down, Dad!" Timmy said. He cast a glance at the fishbowl before starting for the door. Mr. Turner was about to follow but he turned and bent down to look in the fishbowl as well.

"Wait!" he said. "Didn't you use to have three fish?"

Timmy cringed. Great time for his dad to suddenly become observant. "Uh, yeah, he's just… hey, I think I hear Mom calling!"

Mr. Turner jerked back up. "Coming!" he said, running out of the room and back down the hall.

Timmy let out a sigh of relief. "Don't worry, I'm sure Cosmo's fine," he said to the pink-eyed fish in the bowl as he headed out into the hall. "He always is!"

* * *

Anti-Cosmo appeared with a puff of blue smoke in what looked like a grassy field. It wasn't exactly where he had intended to go but after a quick check of his surroundings to make sure the place was clear of humans he decided it was just as good a place as any to try to work out what had happened.

So, the spell hadn't worked. That much was obvious. If it had, the Earth would be overrun with Anti-Fairies by now. All the spell had done was to somehow _anti-poof!_ him into Turner's room. Any number of things could have gone wrong. Perhaps the spell was faulty, perhaps he simply had not had enough power… no matter. He would find another spell and try again. Luckily he'd managed to keep the book away from Foop. He raised his wand and _anti-poof!_ed back to Anti-Fairy World.

Only he didn't end _up_ in Anti-Fairy World.

He appeared in some sort of intersection full of brightly-colored people. Said brightly-colored people—fairies, they were all fairies—screamed at his sudden appearance and fell over themselves trying to back away from him. He hurriedly raised his wand and _poof!_ed back to the field.

"That was odd," he said aloud. He shook his head and tried again.

This time he ended up in what looked to be a restaurant, once again filled with fairies that screamed bloody murder and looked at him as if he was wielding a chainsaw.

He returned to the field as fast as he could, his heart pounding, and held his wand up to his eye to get a close look at it. Through the magnification of his monocle he could tell that there were a few scratches on the ebony handle. _I _knew_ I should've had this looked at_, he thought bitterly. Still, a few imperfections in the handle should not cause his magic to go awry like this.

He raised the wand and tried again, saying, "Anti-Fairy World!" for good measure.

Five seconds later he was back and considerably more irritated.

"To Anti-Fairy World!" he said, and tried again.

And again. "I wish to go to Anti-Fairy World!"

And again. "I wish I was in Anti-Fairy World!"

"I wish I was _at my castle_ in _Anti-Fairy World!_"

"TAKE ME TO ANTI-FAIRY WORLD, YOU CURSED STICK!"

This time he appeared in a room where two fairies were sitting at a table playing checkers. They gasped when they saw him, shooting upward in alarm and knocking their chairs over.

"This is a warning!" Anti-Cosmo snarled purely for effect, jabbing his finger at them. "Fairy World will fall!"

He vanished again and returned to the field, seething. Somehow, he was ending up in Fairy World… not Anti-Fairy World. It made no sense. It wasn't possible. But it was happening anyway. Truthfully, it worried him. He needed to figure out how and why he kept appearing in Fairy World, of course, but he had to get home first. There was no accessible bridge between Earth and Anti-Fairy World. The only way to get there was to _anti-poof!_ there, and for whatever reason it wasn't working.

One more try. He'd try one more time to get home, and if that failed, well, he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

Oh. But there _was_ no bridge.

Anti-Cosmo shoved that thought to the side and raised his wand once more, concentrating all his being on going back to his beloved castle. He disappeared.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" someone shrieked.

"**AAAAAHHHHH!**" Anti-Cosmo shrieked right back, flinging his arms over his face to shield his vision and dropping his book in the process. He had appeared in a neat, tiled bathroom. And, directly across from him, sitting in a bathtub and looking at Anti-Cosmo in petrified horror, was Jorgen von Strangle with a rubber duck clutched in his hand. Anti-Cosmo thanked his lucky stars that the bathtub was filled with bubbles that towered so high they almost brushed the ceiling. Averting his eyes, he snatched up his book again and got out of there as fast as he possibly could.

When he appeared in the field again he furled his wings and dropped limply onto the grass. He would never, ever be able to unsee that.

That was enough. Who knew where he'd end up if he tried _anti-poof!_ing again? He'd have to figure out another way home. Which meant… which meant that he was now stuck on Earth. Unless of course he went back to Fairy World, on purpose this time. But Earth trumped Fairy World a million times over. Of course, if he was to stay on Earth in order to figure out what in blue blazes was going on, there was really only one place he could go.

Lifting back into the air and regaining his composure, he raised his wand one more time and vanished in a cloud of dark blue smoke.


End file.
